it's better never than late

It's been almost a year
and i still wonder..
where you just vanished
and what's it like under..

Just like a clueless little girl
which I am..
they comfort me with baby words
to help me understand..

You were up there in heaven
that's what they say..
and I can only widen my eyes
and start to pray..

It kills me how did i
miss out on so much..
and never gave it a chance to understand
your magical touch..

I wish i never knew
how much you loved me..
and all the things you did
out of being proud of me..

Because it only leaves
myself left to blame..
with a very angry heart
so hard to tame..

Tonight you seem
so far and out of reach..
and just like any other night, i still tearfully pray
to meet you in my dreams..